Your voice works well! I understand, I was trying to find actors on Fiverr. Not enough time or money. Your drawings are superb! Composition and story flow is great! Having the main character be more beat-up will help as the what we learned from the lectures. I think this would create more connection to the characters. This is really impressive for one person. You should be proud! Would you be interested in helping me with my storyboard?

Hi Michael, thank you for the compliment, and sorry for the late reply. I'd love to help with a pointer or two. I'm trying to figure out how to direct message the contact info to people without leaving it out in the open on the internet. Any suggestions?

Hey Nikita,

Great job on finishing your animatic!
I think you've made some great improvements compared to your previous submissions. I really liked the unexpected twist at the ending! The character arc of Nina is fantastic, her taking matters into her own hands to find out how and why the criminal came to life again. This makes the twist towards the ending that much more harder to process (which is a good thing, in this case!)

As mentioned before, I'm really in love with the way you drew your storyboard panels, and they visually tell the story very well! I'm particularly fascinated by the last couple of shots, in which we see no more than silhouettes! Very noir / detective like. The ending feels like a 'to be continued...', but not for Nina, unfortunately. Despite that, I really want to know more about this through different stories! But that is, of course up to you :)

I hope that you've learned a lot during the Xperiential program, and I can't wait to see more of you! Which way can we best connect?
Thanks!

Hi Diederick, thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback! Alas after wrapping up that project I was swept up by other, less artistic work. I'd like to stay connected to a few people I've met here as well, but I am not sure what's the easiest way to do it. Does Discord let you do direct messaging?

great job! Your art style is really nice and these boards feel like professional quality! This story is very engaging and interesting and it would make such a fun cartoon on Cartoon Network or something. Congrats on finishing the XP and making such good work!

I really like your drawing and staging of every shots! I also enjoy the story and and the character development throughout the story where she started to go mad and wanted to find the truth at the cemetery. For me, I don't really understand why there needs to be a flood in the setting. I think if there is more significant meanings or motif of the flood then this story would be even more outstanding. Also, I think using voice over is not bad but If have time to put in some music and sfx later, it will really make the story more thrills and more complete. Great job!

Thank you Nat. I do like the suggestion about having a flood being a sort of motif, rather than a convenient plot device. I can think it through more as I turn it into a short graphic novel story.

Hello, You have made good changes. It looks like the story can be continue with the detective. You made it to the end of the program. Great job!

Definitely see alot of potential in this story, and I always enjoy a thriller! Great work!!

I loved it, I really like your mug and the expressions of the characters

Hey, Nikita! First off, congrats on finishing your storyreel! I've been following this one for a while, so it's awesome to see the final version for the class. I love the changes you've made! Consolidating everything to just the cemetery really helps streamline your story. I also like how she now tries to get to the newscast in time to catch him, as it makes her a bit more active in the pursuit. Also love the tweaks to the end that we've discussed a bit. You should be incredibly proud of the development of this story. Great stuff!

Thank you Allen, congrats to you too, we've crossed the finish line! I'm really happy about sticking to my resolve to finishing the project on time. I now understand a 3 act structure a whole lot better than I ever did!

I love it! Give yourself more credit for the voice acting, it is actually good! You sell the story so well.

I really like how Nina is so driven and consumed by guilt. You do a good job of concisely setting her up and unleashing her in the story. The twist in the end is great, it is tragic, and it leaves the audience with a fantastic question to ponder. It is hard to pull off an ending like this, but you did it! Nice work, this was a fun and entertaining reel.

I hope this is turned into a feature, you have strong characters, themes, and a great understanding of thrillers. Awesome work and I am so sad I won't be able to see more of it haha.

Hi Michael, thank you for your response! I do feel like I was able to tell a coherent story. A lot of it was due to the feedback you and others gave me, refining it as I went along. I think one of the painful but useful lessons to learn here is that it's pretty much impossible to do exactly what you picture in your head because of the tyranny of space and time (and deadlines). That being said, I set out on this project with the thought of turning it into a short graphic novel, which will also hopefully give me some more time to re-work the weaker spots of this story! Thanks again for your feedback and inspiration.

What I loved about your reel and how you developed your story, is that it is very similar to something Steven King would write in the sense you have a strong character and some supernatural stuff is going on in the background. Your protagonist is the focus, she is struggling, and we see her struggle which in itself is scary because being misunderstood or having people dismiss you is a very relatable fear. Also, there may or may not be a serial killer back from the dead wreaking havoc which you mix in really well. This has a great balance and I am wishing you lots of success!

It's kind of funny that before multiple rounds of solid peer feedback it started off as a story about a clown living in the pond, possessed by a glowing alien worm...

Hi! I’m so glad to see your final submission, congratulations on finishing the Xperiential program! :)

You already know this, but I totally love your art! I particularly like the use of different perspectives to emphasise different emotions during the story, such as the one where Nina is seen from above at 00:49 to show her depression and loneliness.

Last week I asked you why the cementery would be closed, and you have given a good explanation about it now, well done! I also like the introduction, where we see how they support Nina's decision to free the criminal, so we can better understand why she feels such great guilt.

I have loved being able to see the evolution of your story during these last weeks. I really appreciate how seriously you take the feedback we've given you, and the effort it must have taken to incorporate the various suggestions into your final version. If you develop any other project in the future for which you need help, do not hesitate to contact me!

Hi Julieta, congratulations to us both! Crossing that finishing line was satisfying. Actually, thank you for commenting on that particular shot. I was thinking of how to comment on a person's absolutely depressed mental state without a close up shot of them sad and cry, so I guess that translated well! And thank you for your invaluable feedback across the weeks. One of the things I realized is I have really shortchanged myself in the past by not seeking out more opinions about the stories I worked on as I was working on them. And in the end, the major points I incorporated I believe really helped to bring the story home, like how grave her decision turned out to be. I'd love to stay in touch with you, and maybe continue some of this peer feedback if either of us works on more projects. I am not sure if this website has a private messaging option to share contact information.

Hi Nikita! You did an awesome job with that shot, you can be proud of it!
I'm so happy that the feedback you have received has helped you to improve your story :)
I believe that the website doesn't have a private messaging option, but we can stay in touch on Discord if you want!

Hi Julieta, I messaged you on Discord, I'd love to stay in touch!

Very happy (and probably scared and all sorts of emotions, considering the story) to see this in here :) Very understandable that you'ven't enough time for all your ambitions, but I'm still very curious! (I was also hoping to go all-out with the voice-acting myself, but alas, it's just text)


Amazing shot at 0:25 ! Composition-wise, and the sketchlines underneath, too. The sentence "he a danger?" strikes well.
Shot 0:35 is good, too. I suspect the narration could be spiced up a bit, there?
Your voice-acting of the old geezer at 0:40 is good actually. Wideshot of the intense clutter is a nice touch.
At 1:10 you say "she saw him" when it's not 100% clear that she is Nina.
Very good pacing of Nina going to the scene.
Why would Nina's own investigation be against the rules? Maybe that's clear to others, and I'm understanding it within the story, but I'm confused personally. (Maybe show a broken lock on the cemetery fence to show that?) Ah! There's the police line, I see now, only slightly visible.
At 2:10, I'm not sure whose arm I'm seeing and whose voice is talking. Is it the chief or a counceling person?
Hah, she tosses her phone away, too. That's such a strong shot, and the closeup of the brick is, too. Incidentally, the phone conversation is quite natural, mostly without the typical "oh so you're saying this and I'm only just repeating it"vibe
very cool shading in the dark!
The silhouette in 3:05 sadly confused me for a moment.

Very cool resolution! I'm sad she didn't find any win or acceptance, but this fits. I also like her proactive attitude (compared with her past lethargy). Maybe you could make the chief's guilt even more gut-wrenchingly tangible!

Hi Terry, thank you for the kind words! I definitely still struggle with showing close up shots where it is not clear who it is, or who the body part in the close up belongs to haha. It was detective's hand, but you're right, it's unclear. And I could certainly make the police line more prominent. One thing you are hitting on is the guilt that the chief feels. I felt the ending was rushed on my part and could have used a few more shots, and a slower pacing to really drive the point home... but I am glad I was able to convey that he does feel guilt! Thanks again :)

I understand that's a difficult thing, though, those close-ups! (I'm generally not yet trying shots like those yet because it seems difficult ^^#)
Very glad to confirm what your intentions were! :)

The artwork in your story is really good! My favorite frame was the high contrast one in the middle of the fight scene in the graveyard. Your shade of blue throughout this story is *chefs kiss*. At first, I did not understand that the switch between Channel3 and the evaluation of Ted Brooks was an indication of the past. I would include a sound effect similar to the one that they use in tv shows, the whooshy whooshy sound. The mystery behind Ted Brooks' grave and the death of Nina Abrams is really well established and after watching you are racking your brain trying to piece together what REALLY happened! Amazing job :)

Thank you Ariana! I wish I had a bit more time to work in some music and sound effects. I'm really happy that you enjoyed the story!