Hey Sky,

Congratulations on completing your story reel! You’ve made great progress over the last couple of weeks. It has turned into a compact story with a strong character relationship between the girl and the grandmother. In addition, your clear drawings also visually enhance the story.

I have some general notes of feedback in case you want to continue developing your story after this.

At the beginning of the story, I think you can actually start in the forest. The sequence at home makes it clear that they are related to each other in a certain way, but immediately showing the magical world and their role in it, could also strengthen the introduction of the story.

The part I was most confused about, was between 01:07 - 01:29. The only thing that I could get out of it, is that the grandmother bought her something sweet, when suddenly the girl is staring up for a long time with the lights going dark (a moment of darkness for the character?), with her running away after that. I couldn’t really find out what exactly happened at that moment, can you explain that to me?

When the girl and grandmother eventually try to fix the creature’s tail by using sticks, the thing I was wondering is why the grandmother wouldn’t use her magic, as being done at the beginning of the story? What events took place that I might not know about why they chose this approach, instead of instantly healing her with magic? Towards the very end, I can see a spark of magic around the tail. Was this the work of the girl, or from the grandmother?

These were the biggest issues I wanted to mention while I was watching your story. Please let me know if you have any questions about it, or if I can help you in any way!

I hope that you’ve had an enjoyable time during the Xperiential program, with lots of things that you’ve learned. Good luck with everything and I hope to see more from you in the future!

Great story! Idea is clear and and i love the shorts you chose! Can’t wait to see it with the audio and how it all will be!! Great job!

The sketches are very detailed but the ending has me confused

The beginning of the story is so heartwarming and it really kept me engaged for the rest of it. I think that for a deliverable without dialogue, this is pretty amazing and in regards to some of the confusion I felt, I can tell that it would be easily solved with the dialogue that you guys plan to add. I love this!

I really like the beginning, and I think the story is very nice and emotional, in the end I get confused by some parts where it seems that dialogues should go.

Great work! This has the potential to be developed in many directions. Congrats on all your hard work.