A wonderful wrap up for your work! While you're right, this does play out more as a pilot rather than a full short, I really like this approach to it! The personalities of all the characters and their interactions/dialogue feel genuine and engaging. Overall, great work!

Thank you so much!!

I'm glad that the interactions felt genuine - that was a major goal of creating dialogue between them all :)

I Really Really Loved This! The characters are great and how this interact with each other is another mega highlight! The whole thing feels like 1 part of a bigger thing that i really want to see more of!

The Character Designs and Design Work in General is Another big highlight that I really enjoy and feels like something new!

Story is also unique and really makes me feel invested!

Hopefully you'll be able to expand from this animatic and fully develop this into something bigger!

Really Keep Up The Amazing Work!

If you have an art page on insta or twitter, i would really like to give you and your art a follow!

Hi Royal! I'm really glad you liked this story! That you like the character's designs and am invested in their journey
I for sure plan to do more with it :)

On instagram I'm @thisisli_art - though warning I haven't updated it in a while :") (another thing I plan to do more with haha)
This series I will be continuing on youtube though, under Li Bilstad

I love the characters' personalities and their character designs, as well as the superpowers! Overall the story was clear and definitely feels like a pilot episode. I think the intro is my favourite part with how the characters were introduced.
During the science class lab scene, I didn't quite follow with what happened when the accident broke out. After rewatching it, does the accident happen because the 2 mean students try to put a random chemical into the levitating line of other chemicals, then Hong punched it, and everything fell to the ground and caught fire? I think the part where Vivian used ice to put out the fire went by quickly and I didn't quite process what happened until Vivian explained her ice power later. Also, my initial thought was "oh, is Hong helping the mean students sabotage?" but the later scenes corrected that. Mostly these are just visual notes, everything else was very clear. Maybe adjusting the pacing or shots of that particular scene will help, especially because viewers might not understand how the superpowers work at that point. Great work !

I love your work! And this short film would make for a great pilot episode if you do consider continuing the story!

Thank you!!
And I for sure plan to continue this story - with this as a pilot/ jumping off point!

OMG I am so happy to see this!!! Please continue to work on this.

Thank you Stephanie!!
This for sure isn't the last of this story!

Keep up the great work as well! :)

Very nice job.
The design and character of the characters is very good, it seems like the pilot of a very interesting series.
Just a technical note.
4:43 many inserts in a row.

Hi Bernabe!

Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad you like the characters and the "pilot" style of story :)

I'm confused what the many inserts are at 4:43 you're referring to though

Aww what a cute story! You are really great at drawing and it shows! I hope u are either in art or will continue with stories because you clearly have a talent for it.

Some things I enjoyed was
- the various shot decisions. It was a breath of fresh air to see different angles.
- love the kids coming together and becoming friends. I do think the dialogue might be a tad cliche here and there but that can be easily rewritten later.
- the designs are just wonderful! Very unique and clear which is what we love to see!
- yes it’s long but it also feels just like a first animated episode. So really it’s a good length.

You did wonderful work. Thank you for showing the world! 🧡

Hi Kristen, thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this story :)

I am in art, in my last semester of getting my BFA actually! My background is mostly in character design and illustration - using art as a communication tool. This was my first major story project to include dialogue - or at least have it play a major part - so there is definitely more to come in the future as I learn more about writing

Your comment about the dialogue being a tad cliche was funny to me! I have a fondness for stories that are a little campy, a little silly - as someone who doesn't always get subtleness even in real life haha
As you said though, those can always be fixed with some rewriting later. I'm curious to know which parts you thought could use improvement, of course only if you want to.

Thank you again,
Li

hi Li!
I'm immensely glad to see your finished work ^^ Thinking back on your work during the weeks; "more of a pilot than a short film" fits the characters and the amount of things they could experience.

Very nice "these girls are more important"-shots of the girls. The savvy "wow, 3rd time this month" is a good fun way of telling that piece of information.
Cool shot at the principal!
Good choice that you show further, additional shots while the principal is talking.
Oh no, at 1:15, she's left alone..
The "now get to class" is good principal-voice.
In 1:24 I really like the additional squares in her flight path.
ugh, the gossip, and the misinterpreting prejudice. Good for her that she's able to say jerks, though.
The interactions with your three characters are incredibly nice, even when they don't know each other really well. "since I put your last one out" about the fire, for example.
Cool shots at 3:44!
Nice interaction when she's helping with bandaids. It shows your characters are very well-thought through. I also like the small semi-awkward silence. It feels very natural. The following question about punching some guy in the face is also quite teen-sie.
Great shot transition on 4:46!
"hands landed on face", her laugh, "anything to share with class?" that interaction is so nice :)
The explanation about "can't fight, it's show off" is vulnerable and nice ; the ask about "Glasses, I won't spill more until you do" is nice as well. "Didn't think chaos was your scene", followed by "embarrassing"
... That entire conversation, actually, is well-written! What I like in particular is their teen-natural way of talking, and the special things happening (ice revealed) or being discussed.
Nice place as well to tell a bit more about what supers are like and that they're not well-known.
The eye-shot at 7:26 is great!
Your choice for the composition at 8:04 is interesting. I understand it's a wide shot, but not why from above. To indicate they're just a small part of the world?
Hah, principal's grumpy attitude at "the same day", that's gold :) and "another.. another chance" too. (I'd almost expect the principal to be eternally black, even if there's more, haha) I like the idea "even add something to the school," though I can sense he's hardly convinced.

The science teacher is incredibly nice and on-point, saying things as "mystery for another time, detective"

I also understand what you mean with "pilot rather than film", because any plot structure is hardly as relevant as them getting to know each other. It's nice how they value each other.

"just some well-placed hope" is what we all need sometimes, right?
Very cool story! ^^

Hi Terry! Wow thank you so so much for all your notes! Your breakdown is very comprehensive and was extremely helpful and interesting to read :)

I'm especially happy that you thought the dialogue sounded like a "teen natural" way of talking. Because there is so much of it haha
While I'm no longer a teenager, I am still very interested in the way they are portrayed in fiction - both good and bad, and how complex relationships among girls can be.

The voices were all done by me, since I was short on time, so I'm glad they were distinct enough to follow the story while also having some character to them.

And you were right that at 8:04, the wide shot is to make the girls look small - but also to put them into a "box".

Thank you again, for the feedback this week and the weeks prior, it has been great,
Li